'Being Dad' Jamie Cullen - Jazz Musician.

"People always tell you having kids puts your life in perspective, but no, it really doesn't. It makes everything more confusing, although the change does make life more beautiful. Having kids makes you experience things more intensely. ..............having the girls gave me a much rounder take on life, how tough and unpleasant it can be, as well as telling me just how beautiful it can be.

 

Becoming a Dad made me see the best of myself and the worst of myself and see the events in my life before and after the birth in a new light.............I now see the world with a greater clarity, good and bad.

 

It's a sensory overload, parenthood, it really is."

Quoted in 'Inverness Scene' June 2013

The 40 Best Pieces of Relationship Advice Ever.

The 40 best pieces of relationship advice ever

"This was a great evening!"

An Evening for Couples at The Stables Restaurant, Culloden.

Hosted by The Barn Church of Scotland.

11 Couples from Church & Community

 

"I really enjoyed the evening and would like to do it again."

"I have realised how small changes can have a big impact."

"We will try the 15 minutes daily talking and listening, as a start."

"We are already dong much that is good and now need to work on the rest."

"This was a great evening and I think it would do more people good to come on something like this."

"All the sections we covered were excellent!"

"It would be great to spend more time exploring the issues in each of the sections we have covered."

 

A two course meal and an interactive evening with your partner on some healthy tips for establishing and maintaining a good relationship.

 

'Love Well-Live Well' - A ideal resource for Churches.

Babyquake! A new report on how couples can struggle.

                               Relationship experts warn of 'Babyquake' for new parents,

 

 

New research released by relationship charity OnePlusOne, shows that 40% of new mums, who had post-baby concerns about their relationship, felt they may no longer be sexually attractive to their partner and 25% of new dads were worried their partner was no longer interested in sex. Just over a quarter (27%) of new parents longed for some time alone as a couple.

The research draws attention to the relationship issues faced by new parents (with their oldest child under 3) and makes recommendations for how they can be overcome. It shows that almost two thirds (64%) of new parents had concerns about their relationship that were not there before they had a baby.

The findings are released in a new report by OnePlusOne entitled ‘Sleep, Sex and Sacrifice: The transition to parenthood, a testing time for relationships’. The report outlines some of the challenges new parents face, including how to divide up the cooking and cleaning as well as hang on to a sex life, social life and sense of identity.

Penny Mansfield, Director of OnePlusOne said: “For some parents having a baby can be like a mini earthquake.  Becoming a parent can put a relationship under extreme pressure as each partner tries to adjust to their new role.  Often one person becomes a stay-at-home parent in the early years and this can be very isolating; if they feel the partner who is out at work does not appreciate them it can lead to arguments. Helping couples stay together is vital.  Family breakdown costs around £46bn every year – and that’s before you factor in the emotional cost to the family and particularly children.”

The new report shows that new parents think there is a need for advice on strengthening relationships. ICM were commissioned to undertake the survey of more than 500 new parents, and according to the poll just under two-thirds (65%) feel support is just as important when couples are getting on well as when they have relationship difficulties.

Penny Mansfield said: “We know from this research that advice for parents tends to be around parenting, rather than looking after themselves or their relationship. Couples consider relationship advice to be important but are unlikely to go looking for it. We want to make it natural for couples to seek advice on having a good relationship before a crisis happens.  “Time alone is vital for new parents because it’s very easy to slip into the habit of seeing each other as parents rather than as romantic partners, leading to issues around sex and intimacy.”

The survey (of over 1,400 parents) also showed that nearly a quarter (23%) of parents are no longer with the partner they had their first child with and of those parents who had split up, two-fifths (42%) parted company either during pregnancy or before the child reached three-years-old.

OnePlusOne is releasing the new report as part of a project funded by the Department for Education that encourages couples to see accessing relationship support as a normal thing to do to strengthen their relationship, rather than something sought at crisis point.  OnePlusOne is working with Netmums, Dad.info, YouthNet, Student Room and Contact a Family to create online spaces where people can get advice and discuss their relationship in forums with their peers.

"You have a lovely manner." Reflections on the National Childbirth Trust (Scotland) Day, Stirling.

 

"You have a lovely manner, are good to listen to, and have a calming voice!" So said one delegate at the NCT Conference in Stirling. That's helpful to know. 

 

It was a good day, with double the number of delegates from the year before. I gave a presentation on 'Adapt' - a resource for supporting couples when parenting young children. It lasts about one hour and is aimed at helping them to look after their own relationship when baby comes along and shifts the balance of everything. It would appear that this is area of concern in health care but there is not much attention being given to it.

 

"I really enjoyed your presentation. I can see me using this in ante-natal classes"

"Brilliant, brilliant spot on!"

"Excellent. Really brilliant and refreshing."

"Great information with light-hearted fun. I envisage using this during ante-natal classes for early post-natal days and relationship issues."

"Very very helpful."

"I thought this was very interesting and enlightening and it would be good if Dads could hear about it."

"This is a nice easy to use and practical resource. Well suited to use with men."

 

The booklet accompanying this presentation will be available at the end of June.

 

 

James Fargie of Mellow Parenting also gave fascinating  presentation about his work and more details of this can be accessed at www.mellowparenting.org

 

The National Childbirth Trust www.nct.org.uk