Just Married..........................at 97 and 87 !

When Henry Kerr met an attractive younger woman, he feared she wouldn't give an older man a second glance. So he embarked on a four-year campaign to win over the object of his affections, writing her love poetry and spending hours exchanging life stories. And yesterday, 97-year- old Mr Kerr proved you can't hurry love, when he finally wed his younger companion - Valerie Berkowitz, 87. He said: 'I would have asked her much earlier, if I had thought such an attractive, witty young lady of 87 would have anything to do with an old codger like me.'

Mr Kerr believed his love life was over following his wife Gladys's death in 2004, but said he was 'struck like a thunderbolt' when he met Mrs Berkowitz at the North London care home they share. He said: 'I thought she found me pushy and conceited - until she acquired an analytical interest in the poems I read at the poetry circle I founded when I moved in here. Then we found our affinities.' When they started talking, the pair discovered they had both lived in South Africa, and both had families scattered across the world. He wrote several love poems in an attempt to win her affections.

Mr Kerr, who moved to the care home in 2006 when he was 94, said: 'When I did ask her to marry me a few months ago she went hysterical - she put her head down on the table and couldn't stop laughing.' Even once Mrs Berkowitz had accepted the proposal, the couple expected to stay permanently engaged to avoid the ' complication' of marriage. But Mr Kerr, who ran an investment company before retirement, said: 'I felt people were whispering behind their hands and gossiping about us moving in together, and that it was important for us to be Mr and Mrs.' The couple finally married in a traditional Jewish ceremony yesterday at their care home in Golders Green, followed by a high tea for 90 guests.

The newlyweds, who have six children, 19 grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren between them, will embark on a one-day honeymoon today but plan to keep its location a secret. The new Mrs Kerr, a former biochemist and counsellor whose first husband Abraham died in 2005 at the age of 82, said: 'Almost immediately after Henry arrived at the home, we started gravitating towards each other, from breakfast on. He is so totally talented and full of fun, yet also very serious. He's different from my late husband in every way, except that they both had enormous brain power. It's absolutely incredible that we found each other so late in life and that we are so loving - and lovely - together. We go to museums and galleries and theatres in groups - but we are off for a day trip honeymoon all by ourselves, and are thinking about a cruise.'

Mr and Mrs Kerr will keep their two rooms at the home, although they will use one as a bedroom and another as a study.

The couple have also walked away with the title of Britain's oldest newlyweds - previously held by Les Atwell, 94, and Sheila Walsh, 87.

A Child is a Grenade.

“A child is a grenade. When you have a baby you set off an explosion in your marriage and when the dust settles your marriage / relationship is different. Not better, necessarily: not worse necessarily. But different.” (Nora Ephron in “Heartburn”)

A child does indeed change a relationship. 67% of couples report a precipitous plummet in marital and relationship satisfaction in the first year. Lack of sleep, disgruntlement, feeling over-whelmed, lack of time for oneself among other things. But 33% seem to sail on through unscathed.

Baby shock is baby shock and all experience the highs and lows. But what separates these "blissful" mothers from others has nothing to do with the baby itself and everything to do with the quality of the relationship with her husband or partner. And, whether or not he experiences the transformation to parenthood alongside her or gets left behind.

“Letssticktogether – a short course helping parents navigate their way through the new experience of parenthood is available for couples or small groups, through X plus Y.

Love Well. Live Well.

Key Skills For A Healthy Relationship.

Friendship & Communication. The 5 Love Languages.
Good Habits-Bad Habits. The “F” Word.

She said: I was intrigued at the prospect of coming. At the end of the evening I feel reassured and motivated.
He said: I felt just ok about coming on the evening but now that I have been here I feel motivated.

She said: I enjoyed having time to sit and talk with my fiancée. This evening has given us loads of ideas of things to discuss at home.
He said: This has been a very useful evening. It has highlighted some important aspects that are critical in daily life.

An Evening for Couples
With Colm Black.

Friday June 3rd 7.00 – 9.30pm
Calderwood Baptist Church. East Kilbride.

2 hours which could make all the difference will start at 7.30pm

A Light Buffet Meal will be served at 7pm

Parenting Trumps Marriage.

According to research from the US (pewsocialtrends.org) parenthood, in the minds of many young people is more important than marriage. They found that 52% of 18-29 year olds say being a good parent is "one of the most important things" in life. Just 30% say the same about having a successful marriage -- meaning there is a 22-percentage-point gap in the way value parenthood over marriage.

They are also less likely than adults aged 30 and older to say that a child needs a home with both a father and mother to grow up happily and that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.

They are slower to marry than the older generation and this delay in marriage among today's young adults has been accompanied by a corresponding increase in the rate of out-of-wedlock births.

Though they are less likely to link marriage and parenthood, most 18-29 year olds look forward to both.