Bringing Out The Best In Your Husband......Abort The Rescue, Ladies.

How do you know if someone is playing the role of a rescuer? Would that man be incapable of functioning in his daily life without your help? If so, don't rescue. Encourage growth.

Do you tend to be stronger than him? If so, don't reinforce his weaknesses and foster dependency. Find his potential and encourage growth.

Does he tend to be unhappy unless you're doing something for him? If so, don't play this game. Encourage by showing you believe in capability to do it himself.

Does he make excuses for himself or do you make excuses for him? Remember that excuses cripple and perpetuate helplessness.

But aren't you to love your husband by helping and serving him? Yes, but it can become rescuing when you believe that it's your responsibility to solve his problems or protect him from the results of what he's done.

Sometimes women gain fulfillment by being a rescuer.

It makes them feel good and look good in the eyes of others. The downside is that you could end up angry, resentful, feeling exhausted or even demeaned.

Rescuing is a great diversion. You don't have to deal with your own issues if you're busy saving others.


Taken from Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband by H. Norman Wright. Published by Regal Publishing. Copyright 2010.

Al

Keeping Love Alive

The secret to keeping marriage alive is not in "getting love" - it's in "giving love."

Almost every popular magazine has at least one article on keeping love alive. So, why is it so few couples seem to have found the secret? I'm convinced it's because we concentrate on "getting love" rather than "giving love".

As long as you focus on what your spouse should be doing for you, you will come across as condemning and critical.

How about a different approach? One that asks, "What can I do to help you? How can I make your life easier? How could I be a better wife or husband?"

Listen to the answers to these questions and you will learn how to keep your marriage alive and vibrant.

Gary Chapman