History Can Be Healing.

I sometimes am a Radio 4 listener on a Monday morning. Good discussions. It beats the Radio Scotland phone-in or the much too energetic music stations! This morning on 'Start The Week', a discussion on History and its importance.

In the midst of the very good and balanced debate which lamented how many mistakes have been made in the past and how it can present a depressing vision of the future, there was the comment that history is also healing.

The analysis of certain recent conflicts like those in the Balkans can be simplistically defined as 'good guys v bad guys,' particularly from the American-Bush administration. Yet we forget that many cultures and religious groupings in those countries lived well together in the past. The present conflict skews our view of the past. History reminds us that people can learn to and often do live together well.

In couple relationships perspective is important. A period of disillusionment, monotony or enduring conflict can skew the way we view the past and how we imagine the future. Couples can develop amnesia, which is why history is important.

Remembering where you met, how you met, what attracted you to your partner in the first place, how you decided to get married, the Wedding day, good times and experiences you enjoyed together over the years and especially the recent past can help you to realise that you do like and indeed still love the person you are with. Remembering and sharing together the history of your relationship can spark into a fire that flickering flame which is struggling.

And even if you are not in a period of difficulty and are enjoying spring and summer in your marriage, it is worth sharing such memories because you can take for granted the one you love and the relationship you have. Sharing together like this can remind you afresh how much your marriage still means to you.

History can be healing.