Small Is Big In Relationships.

We have just had Valentine's Day. People make a big splash on that day in order to impress, win or express their love ? Perhaps the biggest winners are the Florists, the Chocolate sellers and the Card shops. And now we are being 'guided' towards Mother's Day and after that there will be the Easter celebrations and then Father's Day. It is all a bit endless and manipulative.

In one sense it is a bit of fun. My youngest son, at 8, receieved a card through the post! Yet why should children so young be caught up in this? As for adults? What really matters is not the splash but the everyday little interactions in a relationship. And the more postive these are the healthier. They are like small deposits in a bank account, building up reserves of well-being, goodwill, emotional benefit. Then when the stressful times arrive we are in a better place to deal with them together.

Small Positives = Big Effect............even if the recipient does not comment or even seem to notice.

And if you are the recipient of a series of helpful, selfless little acts, kind words or gestures and you notice, make sure you say thanks, express appreciation. And be specific. Praise needs to be specific, like 'Thank you for eating with your mouth closed when the visitors came last evening', or 'I really appreciated the salad sandwich you made me for lunch.'

We gain the most, says Harriet Lerner, by being the change we want to see.