Marriage Lessons From Melbourne.

 

I think I am over it, but as Roy Orbison used to sing, 'It's too Soon to Know.' Great as Andy Murray was, the Iron Man for Serbia was better.

 

And yet it is about perspective. Murray has been in the last 3 Grand Slam Finals plus the Olympic Final. He has won two, lost two. And this is how he sees it. There are always positives in the midst of the disappointments. He will learn and move on, keep working. And win more Slams no doubt, probably this year. Wimbledon? US Open again?

 

For a long time people have been acknowledging Murray's brilliance but questioning his mentality, the understandable negative slide when all is going against him. His form after losing in Austrailia in the past few years has been lamentable in the following months. I don't expect we will see the same this year. His mindset has changed. 

 

Mindset. It is everything in a relationship when things are not good and there are disappointments, sometimes huge.

 

John Gottman says this, 'You need to become the architect of your thoughts. It's up to you to decide what your inner script will be. You can habitually look at what is not there in your relationship, at your disappointments and fill your mind with thoughts of irritation, hurt and contempt or you can do the opposite.'

And Zig Ziglar ( he has to be  American! ) says, 'You are what you are and where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change what you are and where you are by changing what goes into yoiur mind.'

Transformation, says The Bible, begins with the renewing of the mind.

If only life was that simple! Yet it is true of our mindset, perspective and understanding. And it is hard work, especially if your relationship is in a dark place. But what is the alternative!
 

Just as the journey of 1000Km begins with one small step, perhaps transformation begins with seeing the positives, no matter how small, even just one at a time. Look for them, take note of them, savour them. Keep moving forward.

 

You see it's tempting to believe that the challenge is too great. The Iron Man is unbeatable. Andy Murray will take small positives from the pain of loss and with a strong and determined will, continue to move forward. I for one, am looking forward to future victories.

And as for the Djokovic? I am sure he too will sit down with his team, reflect on what they are doing well, celebrate it and continue in the same vane. Celebrate what you are doing well as a couple, the positives. Talk about them and keep on with them.