All I Want For Christmas.

All I want for Christmas is….?

Those with long memories will recall that the answer to this question, according to the music-hall song at least, is “my two front teef!!”. But not any more it seems. The number one answer according to a poll this Christmas  (2012)was a baby brother/sister, and the number ten answer, perhaps even more worryingly, is “a Dad!”.

The poll was conducted among parents rather than the kids themselves so is probably a blend of their views and their children’s. It is worrying at two levels. The first is that having a baby brother/sister is regarded as something of a consumer choice. We have long had campaigns telling us “a dog is for life, not just for Christmas” – an illustration that people need to recognise the responsibilities of pet ownership. How much more true is this of “child ownership”.  The decision to have a child should be one prefaced by clear recognition that the un-conceived child has a right to be nurtured and protected by the two parents who brought it into being. The decision to create a child without first committing publicly, before witnesses, to stick together as a couple in the task is a tragic flaunting of the rights of the child.

The fact that that “a Dad” was the number ten answer is a stunning reflection of the wisdom of kids, and the sadness that the breakdown of families brings – kids know they are missing a vital piece of life, and they long for their Dad! Of course not every relationship is going to survive, but the fact is that the chances of a child continuing to have a meaningful relationship with its father are dramatically higher if the parents were married – they made a commitment, and even when they can’t see it through, they recognise their joint responsibilities in some way.

Ask most of the Dads whose partner is expecting and they will tell you they would do anything for their future son/daughter – and you see it in their eyes too as they hold the fragile infant tenderly, nervously, in their hands for the first time. My challenge to them is “if you’ll do anything as you say, then marry their mum, and make it work!”.

Amidst all the hype and venting that will doubtless accompany the discussion on marriage, and in particular “Equal Marriage” this year, let’s not forget that the fundamental right of the unborn generation is to be raised by their two natural parents who are truly committed both to each other, and to the child. We have a legal structure for it – it’s called marriage.

As we face into 2013, let’s remember that in working for marriage we are not doing it for some fluffy Hollywood notion of “happy ever after” – we are doing it for the next generation of kids, so they won’t be left wishing they could have a Dad for Christmas.

 

Dave Percival 2-in-2-1.co.uk