Murphy's Laws of Parenting.

• The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

• The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

• The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

• A sure way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

• For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

• Toys multiply to fill any space available.

• Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

• If the shoe fits ... it's expensive.

• Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

• The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn't getting enough sleep.