Are you a John Wayne fan? Yes? No! He’s ok sometimes? Well, one of his films was the stereotypical West of Ireland story, “The Quiet Man” in which he was chasing the red-haired Maureen O Hara to become his wife. They were both humourously subjected to “very strict guidelines” by the local match-maker as to what was appropriate behaviour during the courtship. It was all very quaint and he got the girl in the end.
In the last 25 years family life has changed considerably. The route into relationships and parenting has been turned on its head. For many people the pattern of their parents or grandparents relationship was the John Wayne sequence – walking out together, engagement, marriage, children. Today the common sequence of family formation is often, cohabitation, parenthood, marriage (if at all) and more recently, parenthood, cohabitation and maybe marriage. A growing number of families are experiencing what has been called, “Double Jeopardy” – coping with the transition to parenthood whilst coping with the transition to living as a couple, as cohabitation has become the preferred option of many.
As a result of these changes, families have become more fragile particularly in the early stages of parenthood. More than one in three cohabiting couples are breaking up before their child is five compared with fewer than one in eleven married couples. This is the landscape of relationships now. And there is an increasing recognition that supporting the couple relationship at the new parenting stage is crucial for the future well-being of the child.
“Letssticktogether” aims to do just that. A one hour course from "X Plus Y" for new parents, parents of small children and delivered by Colm to individual couples or small groups.
Get in touch. Give your relationship the best possible care and attention.
Hi Colm. This strikes a chord. The wife of one of my brothers was found to have cancer a few weeks after their first child was born. They were both self-employed. Neither was able to work while she received treatment, and so there was no income for over a year. Six years on she's all clear.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the devastating combination of problems eventually led to the marriage breaking down.
After the divorce my brother surprised me with this insight; "it wasn't the problems that sank the marriage, it was the way we responded to them". There was nothing inevitable about it.
Support at the right time to help people handle problems is vital. God bless your work, Colm.