It was a most amusing incident. I had gone into a shop to buy flowers for a family funeral. While I was there I unexpectedly met someone I had not seen for some time. Her immediate comment to me as I stood there with the flowers was, “Oh, what have you done?” humourously suggesting I was on a peace mission. And so we chatted and moved on.
As I left the shop, flowers in hand, I met another person I had not seen for awhile and she looked at me and said, “Oh someone is in for a treat!” humouroulsy suggesting I was intending to surprise my wife. This all made me laugh later, for one had thought the worst and the other had thought the best.
When things are out of kilter in a relationship we can get into a mindset of distrust. We think the worst of the other person and are suspicious. It might be rooted in how we were treated in the past by others such as our parents or a teacher and so we have developed a bad habit in our present relationship. We misinterpret situations. Thinking the worst can put us on the defensive when there is absolutely no need for it. The best way to deal with it is to ask questions. Talk about whatever is happening. Clarify.
“Asking questions doesn’t stop me from thinking the worst but it does make me more likely to check out whether or not my thoughts are justified.” says Harry Benson
Love always thinks the best. Always hopes. Always perseveres.
You can read about Good Habits. Bad Habits in “Letssticktogether” by Harry Benson.
Publ. Lion 2010
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