Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Babyquake! A new report on how couples can struggle.

                               Relationship experts warn of 'Babyquake' for new parents,
 
 
New research released by relationship charity OnePlusOne, shows that 40% of new mums, who had post-baby concerns about their relationship, felt they may no longer be sexually attractive to their partner and 25% of new dads were worried their partner was no longer interested in sex. Just over a quarter (27%) of new parents longed for some time alone as a couple.

The research draws attention to the relationship issues faced by new parents (with their oldest child under 3) and makes recommendations for how they can be overcome. It shows that almost two thirds (64%) of new parents had concerns about their relationship that were not there before they had a baby.

The findings are released in a new report by OnePlusOne entitled ‘Sleep, Sex and Sacrifice: The transition to parenthood, a testing time for relationships’. The report outlines some of the challenges new parents face, including how to divide up the cooking and cleaning as well as hang on to a sex life, social life and sense of identity.

Penny Mansfield, Director of OnePlusOne said: “For some parents having a baby can be like a mini earthquake.  Becoming a parent can put a relationship under extreme pressure as each partner tries to adjust to their new role.  Often one person becomes a stay-at-home parent in the early years and this can be very isolating; if they feel the partner who is out at work does not appreciate them it can lead to arguments. Helping couples stay together is vital.  Family breakdown costs around £46bn every year – and that’s before you factor in the emotional cost to the family and particularly children.”

The new report shows that new parents think there is a need for advice on strengthening relationships. ICM were commissioned to undertake the survey of more than 500 new parents, and according to the poll just under two-thirds (65%) feel support is just as important when couples are getting on well as when they have relationship difficulties.

Penny Mansfield said: “We know from this research that advice for parents tends to be around parenting, rather than looking after themselves or their relationship. Couples consider relationship advice to be important but are unlikely to go looking for it. We want to make it natural for couples to seek advice on having a good relationship before a crisis happens.  “Time alone is vital for new parents because it’s very easy to slip into the habit of seeing each other as parents rather than as romantic partners, leading to issues around sex and intimacy.”

The survey (of over 1,400 parents) also showed that nearly a quarter (23%) of parents are no longer with the partner they had their first child with and of those parents who had split up, two-fifths (42%) parted company either during pregnancy or before the child reached three-years-old.

OnePlusOne is releasing the new report as part of a project funded by the Department for Education that encourages couples to see accessing relationship support as a normal thing to do to strengthen their relationship, rather than something sought at crisis point.  OnePlusOne is working with Netmums, Dad.info, YouthNet, Student Room and Contact a Family to create online spaces where people can get advice and discuss their relationship in forums with their peers.


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