10 Ways to Betray Your Relationship (Other Than Infidelity)

1. Conditional Commitment:  You or your partner are keeping your eyes open for something “better.”
2. A Nonsexual Affair:  Consider any actions taken with someone other than your partner that you would be uncomfortable with them seeing.  This is your signal that you are crossing the line.
3. Lying:  Being dishonest will erode the safety in your relationship.  Whether it’s straight forward deceit or lies to avoid conflict, they can be toxic.
4. Forming a Coalition Against the Partner:   Whether it’s a parent or friend, ganging up on your partner will not be received well.  The relationship can feel less collaborative and more “you against me.”
5. Absenteeism or Coldness:  Failing to prioritize each other at a time of emotional needs can have a devastating impact.  Whether failing to support during highly stressful events or consistently missing opportunities to turn towards each other during the rigors of life, both are destructive.
6. Withdrawal of Sexual Interest:  Though some couples report that a decrease in sex isn’t harmful to their satisfaction together, if it’s not addressed productively it can be wounding.
7. Disrespect:   What encapsulates this for me is a quote by John Gottman…”A loving relationship is not about one person having the upper hand – it’s about holding hands.”
8. Unfairness:   Going back on promises made on big life decisions is one of the biggest ways couples can feel slighted.  Other common issues are around finances and housework.
9. Selfishness:  When one partner lives mostly in a “me” vs “we” paradiagm, me-centred behaviours can negatively impact the relationship.
10. Breaking Promises:   A pattern of disappointments around broken or unfulfilled promises can undermine trust between the couple.  The person engaged in breaking promises can inadvertently send the message, “You don’t matter.”

From LisaKiftTherapy.com