Thursday, 20 September 2012

Sorry Mr Clegg?


The dynamic was interesting. A politician uttering what has been described as the hardest word, ‘Sorry,’ directly on camera from, interestingly, his own home and not outside Parliament on the green grass or in his office.

“There is no easy way to say this, we made a pledge and we didn’t stick to it and for that, I am sorry............most important of all you have got to learn from your mistakes and that is what we will do.”

This has created an amazing stir. According to Nick Robinson, the BBC Correspondent, what may follow Nick Clegg in the wake of his apology could be, ‘disbelief, anger and ridicule.’

Apologising and saying sorry are fundamental to life. Relationships, any relationship, especially a man and a wife cannot go forward without apology and forgiveness being an integral part of them.  But what of political life? Will any of those who heard Nick Clegg two years ago promise not to raise tuition fees now be able to trust him again? Will their anger, disbelief and ridicule become a stumbling block to moving forward? Is not the bigger issue that will sink the Lib Dems., that they got into bed with the Conservatives in the first place?

Breaking this trust and promise has been described by Clegg as a huge ball and chain to both him and his party. And that is exactly how it can be for all of us. When Robert Green the England Football Goalkeeper let a speculative shot from the USA slip through his hands into the net a Sports Psychologist commented,’It was encouraging that Robert Green acknowledged immediately that he had made a mistake, rather than blaming the turf or the ball. When people attribute failure to other things it is an indicator of low self-esteem.

In an interview with Chris Moyles on Radio 1, when Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow of ‘Take That’ were getting back together again, it was reported that “Robbie Williams did most of the talking. Referring to nasty things said in the past and their recent get together he said they sat down in a room at one point and simply talked things over and “Said sorry and meant it.” The words he then used to describe the emotional impact of apologising and saying sorry were, “exciting,” “liberating.” It was he said, “like a big load being lifted off my shoulders” and the beginning of a magical 18 months in which they have worked together well again. “It’s nice being able to be grown ups and say sorry and mean it,” he concluded.

Perhaps the problem is also with the receiver not the apologiser. It behoves us to exercise forgiveness. ‘Forgiving others takes strength, particularly when you feel wronged but the fortitude required to forgive pales into comparison to the energy it takes to hold a grudge’ says Michelle Weiner-Davis.

The onus is on us to dance to a different tune than the old one of grudge and unforgiveness.

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