A Dodgy Tummy.

One of my sons is off school today. A dodgy tummy, so he says. Yet he seems in remarkably good spirits! Have I been duped? Is he playing the emotional blackmail card again? I give him the benefit of the doubt.

Each time we find ourselves with time together minus the other two sticks of dynamite, there is calm, peace, relative sanity. And each time he says the very same thing to me. “Dad, this is just like it was when I was at Play Group. Me and you by ourselves.” In those days we had time alone between sessions. And every Thursday we did something special. Short Tennis. Swimming. Board games. Hot chocolate in a wee cafe. A Star Wars film. (It’s the Curriculum for Excellence, if you ask me.)It has made an indelible impression on him. He keeps referring to it.

Time alone with Dad. His time. No sibling rivalry. It is a very simple thing to do. And it has many benefits both ways. Undivided attention from Dad. A child will share many things alone with a parent. You get to really know and enjoy many aspects of your child in their growing up. It’s pleasure, pleasure. And the child is not competing for you with others. If things have not been going well between you and a child it restores your faith and reminds you how much you love them for you see them at their best. If you are afflicted with what has been called ‘Compromised Parental Wellbeing’ whereby you love your children but hate the oft-times grind and hard work of parenting, you can be cured!

One mother of 5 sons decided to set the goal of having one-to-one time with each of them once a month, starting in primary school. She said she could not have imagined doing this with her son when he was 22 if she hadn’t started early. It has made all the difference.

Another parent talks about dating his daughter, meeting her for coffee once a month when she was in the teenage years. But it only works because he carved out special time for her in the primary years. If you consider it important, you simply schedule it in.

A father having special time with his child is of inestimable value.

And the dodgy tummy? Forget the Calpol. It has been miraculously cured by a large dose of Lego Star Wars.