I love the Elton John song, “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.” It is the wee man from Watford at his very best. It can indeed be a hard word to utter because it involves admitting wrong-doing and our pride gets in the way of that. But sometimes even if it is uttered we may not really feel that it is genuine. The Queen in Ireland recently, acknowledged the wrongs and mistakes of the past. Genuine apology? For many, yes, because the very act of saying sorry is enough. For others some sort of recompense is necessary for an apology to be sufficient.
This has been starkly highlighted by events in Australia recently. “Another year. Another Reconciliation Week and National Sorry Day” says Karen Ashford (www.sbs.com.au) “ For many Aboriginal people it’s an increasingly hollow gesture. They want compensation for their forced removal from their families. But the refusal of multiple Governments to establish compensations schemes means they are sceptical that when the Government says they are sorry they really mean it.”
In the sphere of family and other relationships our desire for restitution is almost always based upon our need for love. After being hurt deeply we need the reassurance that the person who hurt us still loves and cares for us. So words alone, for some people are not enough. The effort to make restitution indicates that the apology is more than just empty, easy-to-trip-off-the -tongue words.
For many, the Aboriginies included, the words need to be backed up by deeds to indicate that they are truly genuine. Then the relationship can move forward again with trust slowly being rebuilt.
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