6. Don’t dump out all your stored-up complaints. Keep a few in reserve so you won’t be caught with nothing left while your partner still has four or five.
7. Restate your partner’s message. Let him see how truly irrational it is.
8. Make “I” statements, not “you” statements, except when nothing but a good “you” statement will do.
9. Don’t raise your voice. You can have so much more effect by speaking softly between clenched teeth.
10. Accept your partner the way she is. You can’t change people—you can only change yourself—so don’t try to change her, except, of course, for the few things that really do need changing. In fact, make a list.
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